Author: Odon De Castro

Man shares in some ways the life of plants, animals and the angels. He grows like the plants, moves like the animals and used to think as angels before his fall.

Pope Benedict encourages us to go from eros, which is human love according to the nature of man, and climb up to Agape, which obliges us to rise up to the nature of God. Pope Benedict described this as ecstacy.

But ecstacy could work in two ways: man could leave his human nature and rise up to the nature of angels, Pope Benedict’s invitation in his encyclical; or he can leave his human nature and descend to the animal nature which is Satan’s invitation.

This is sensual ecstasy, when man chooses to go below his human nature, to the level of the beasts. It happens when man thinks only of the things of this world and ends up loving the things of this world. His activities are reduced to purely worldly matters, as a lion only looks at his prey or a horse concentrated on the grass. Or, worse, he descends lower, into drug addiction.
Then, there is the human level, where man behaves like a human being: he loves his reason and reason governs his concupiscence to some degree.

Pope Benedict was describing the ecstacy wherein man rises up above his natural capabilities, to a realm outside his human nature, which is possible only through grace. Both the intellect and the will rise up with the help of the Theological virtues. This is the ecstacy that Pope Benedict describes, when both the intellect and the will are raised above and beyond their nature. Scriptures describes this as dying to oneself to live in Christ. It is only by dying to one’s human nature that we can rise up with Christ. Having reached perfect Charity is being in a state of ecstacy. (Sometimes, as in the ecstacies of St. Teresa of Avila, the saint would be unconscious of everything around her to the point of being unable to feel the droppings from a burning candle. St. Thomas often went into such ecstacies. But the common one is more like the ecstacy of St. Catherine of Genoa, who was so conscious of her surroundings that she was once distracted by the passing by of her brother.)

There is an ecstasy of the intellect in the act of admiring the supernatural truth beheld; and there is an ecstasy of the will in the act of loving God. Ordinarily, a saint does not go unconscious or go into a trance. To do so are the more extraordinary instances.

These two ecstasies, that of the will and the intellect, are what Pope Benedict XVI refers to in the first part of his encyclical, which consists in the love of God. But before we can love God (will) we must first know him (intellect) and in these lies the ecstasy of life. Sadly, our knowledge of God is defective, and so our love for God.

In the second part of his encyclical he speaks about love of neighbor. When a soul reaches ecstasy of intellect and will, the consequence is ecstasy of action where the soul gets involved in a fervent service of neighbor. The saint in his contemplation of goodness wants to share his happiness with others. Fervent, because the soul’s activities surpass the abilities of human nature. Good examples of these are St. Vincent the Paul, St. Ignatius of Loyola, and Mother Teresa, among the few mentioned by Pope Benedict at the conclusion of his encyclical. The activities of these saints are ecstacies of action. That’s why their activities cannot be duplicated by ordinary souls.

The sign of a holy life is the presence of the three ecstasies. If one is lacking, we must be cautious; beware of the devil’s tail. A religious may be engaged in feverish activities but if he has not experienced ecstasy in mind and free will, his activity could be suspect. A theologian might show profound theological knowledge but if he does not show love for God and deep concern for neighbor we are facing a fake.

“The Charity of Christ presses us” is a statement of one whose mind and free will are in ecstasy and wherein both presses the soul into ecstacy of action. (Painting of “St. Margaret of Cortona in Ecstasy” by Giovanni Lanfranco, 1622.)

What is the difference between the act of St. Martin in giving his cloak to the beggar and the acts of St. Vincent de Paul in giving clothes to the beggars? St. Martin’s act was his initial act towards repentance leading him to the infused theological virtue of Faith, and eventually Hope and Charity. St. Vincent de Paul’s act was the expression of the virtue of Charity already possessed and expressed in love of neighbor. St. Martin was on his way to the Charity that St. Vincent de Paul already possessed.

The act of St. Martin of Tours, differentiated from St. Vincent de Paul’s act, is described by Pope Benedict XVI thus: St. Martin of Tours’ giving alms to the beggar can be compared to a flower, say a violet or a rose, viewed at night. The flower is there, its color is there, but we cannot see it due to the darkness. In the case of St. Vincent de Paul, his acts are like those flowers under the brightness of the sun, and we appreciate their full colors. The sun is Charity.

St. Vincent the de Paul and Mother Teresa, too, were once like Roses in the darkness of the night. St. Martin of Tours eventually turned into a bright flower under a full bright sun.

When St. Vincent de Paul and Mother Teresa reached Perfect Charity, their work afterwards became expressions of God’s Will known from Charity already possessed. Charity moved Mother Teresa to go to India. Charity moved St. Therese of the Child Jesus to remain in a convent instead of going to Vietnam to be a missionary.

Note that one and the same act can be, on the one hand, an act leading to Faith, Hope and Charity, while for another an expression of Perfect Charity already possessed. The effects are different. In the first, the effect is personal sanctification of the one doing the act. In the second, it is the ‘Glory of God.’ In the first, the good act is not yet enlightened by Perfect Charity, and therefore the recipients of such acts do not feel the goodness of, and the attraction to, God, unlike that which come from the overflow of Perfect Charity already attained : the recipients and, and even those who witness such acts, are attracted to the goodness of God or to the Christian religion, or may even be moved towards conversion.

The first, though motivated by the initial seed of charity, is not fully enlightened by the perfection of charity.

Martin was a catechumen when he first helped the beggar; he was at the onset of his climb to Faith. Then going into the monastic life (which St. Ignatius, likewise, did in his heremitical life at Manresa), he aimed at Faith and reached Perfect Charity, after which he preached and did other works as an overflow of Charity.

A common mistake is to consider every one helping the poor as a Mother Teresa or a Vincent de Paul. Though, ascetically, we don’t have to know the difference, mystically, it is good to know the theological difference.

The difference is this: that God’s presence in the world is felt only in acts that are an overflow of Perfect Charity already possessed by the souls who do them. (Painting is “St. Martin and the beggar” by Gerard David, 1501.)

We were born saints. And by God’s grace are kept saints for a brief moment. It was to this brief moment in childhood that Christ pointed to us as the model when He said ‘to become like little children,’ and ‘to learn from children.’ He was not referring to children who have become spoiled brats, a sad occurence when original sin takes effect and the child slowly loses his initial holiness. If we could only stretch and maintain that brief moment, a thing which the parents of St. Therese of the Child Jesus were able to do, and which all parents must do….but are unable to.

Then comes the workings of worldly desires. The child begins to demand the satisfaction of his desires, and his parents cooperate by giving in. Everything in the world connives to teach him to demand the satisfaction of his concupiscence. And so the child grows up in his small world where his desires are his god . Pope Benedict calls this the dictatorship of relativism.

This is one side of a continuum: a soul wherein the self is god and whose every desire must be satisfied. On the opposite side of the continuum is God and His Will. It has become a battle between ‘my will be done’ versus ‘Thy will be done.’

To attain charity, all we have to do is to move from ‘my will be done’ and cross over to ‘Thy Will be done.’ When we have reached a point in our lives when we no longer do our own will and are only occupied in doing and being resigned to God’s will, then, THIS IS CHARITY. Theologians refer to this as ‘uniformity with God’s will.’

Of course, the road between the two continua is not smooth. There are a thousand obstacles between the two wills all managed by the devil. But Christ had provided a bulldozer to remove those obstacles. This is the spirit of repentance with its three elements of fasting, good works and prayer. Having eliminated those obstacles, the way is still a little rough. This is further smoothened out by poverty, chastity and obedience. From then on, everything will be smooth sailing towards the perfection of Charity. (Painting is “The Mystical Marriage of St. Catherine.”)

Pope Benedict in his “Deus Caritas Est” mentioned two groups of saints. On one side he mentioned St. Martin of Tours and on the other, he grouped St. Ignatius, Vincent de Paul and Teresa of Calcutta among a few.

He mentioned St. Martin of Tours who, as a young Roman soldier, was attracted to Christianity because of the conversion of Constantine the Great.

He recalled Martin as a Roman soldier who met a shivering, half- naked beggar one cold day. Martin cut his coat in two and gave half to the beggar( the other half became a relic of the Frankish kings, referred to as “St. Martin’s cloak”). Then one night he saw Christ wearing the cloak he had given to the beggar. Still a catechumen he underwent instruction and was baptized. Converted by this experience he became a monk and became the disciple of the famous St. Hilary of Poitiers. He became a solitary at Liguge’ putting into practice the monastic life he had learned at Gallineria. Monks gathered around him and they established the Gallic Thebaid, a real laura, which later became the celebrated Benedictine Abbey of Liguge’. Martin lived there for 10 years in solitude. From there he would occasionally go out to preach against idolatry around the western and central part of Gaul. Later made bishop of Tours, he continued to have a hermit’s cell near the Loire where he founded another great monastery, Marmoutier, that exist up to now. His Episcopal administration was outstanding. He died at the age of 81 exhibiting a great life of humility and mortification. Greatly venerated in France, two basilicas were built in his honor but were destroyed, first by the Protestants and the second by the French reign of terror who bent their ire on this famous saint.
There are three points I would like to deal with in his life. First, St. Martin’s giving of his cloak to the half-naked beggar as a catechumen; the second is his becoming a monk and founding monastic houses and thirdly his becoming an excellent bishop (after being tricked by the people of Tours into the Episcopal office).

At first, St. Martin was moved by the initial grace of charity that propels a soul into the beginnings of Faith. This initial movement of Charity is Repentance with its three elements of fasting, good works and prayer. Giving half of his cloak to the beggar was the initial act of repentance.

Secondly, Martin becomes a monk. He founded monasteries while living the monastic life in its fullest. This is how he advanced through Faith, receiving the gift of knowledge; reached Hope where he attained understanding; and eventually reached Charity where he received the gift of wisdom or contemplation.

Thirdly, after he had reached Charity, he ruled splendidly as bishop, helped the people physically and spiritually. His work was the overflowing of Charity attained.

In the first stage, he performed the ‘works of mercy’ to begin his repentance that led to the virtue of Faith. In the second stage – his monastic life – he progressed from repentance to faith, hope and charity. In the third stage his works of Charity became an outpouring of his Charity already attained.

What is the difference between his helping the poor in the first stage and the third stage? In the third stage, like St. Vincent the Paul, acts of charity are done purely for love of God — or outpourings of Charity already attained; while in the first stage, they are done to start one’s personal sanctification. In the third stage, being an overflow of Charity — or Perfect Love already attained — the goodness of God is experienced by the recipient of such acts of charity, and therefore, is attracted to God and to the Catholic faith. St. Pachomius, a soldier like St. Martin of Tours, also became a monk and eventually started the cenobitic monastic movement, after being attracted to Christianity because of the charity shown him by some Christians.

Pope Benedict, in his encyclical, insists that bishops, like St. Martin, should be contemplatives, having reached Charity, before they can teach Charity, which is the essence of Christianity. In the early Church, monks who had reached Charity were the ones chosen as bishops. Otherwise, what will they teach? The Pope has shown us the way to reach it both in theory, in practice and in the examples of the Saints, like Martin, Ignatius and Mother Teresa. This is a daunting goal in an age where Charity has waxed cold. (Painting is “St. Martin and the beggar” by El Greco, 1597-99.)

We have not tired of saying that the Catholic Religion is a revealed religion. It is a supernatural religion and, therefore, cannot be learned by man using his natural faculties. But it can be learned by man if he elevates himself to the supernatural level. Which is impossible unless he is aided by grace. And God had promised superabundant graces to enable man to do so. So man, to learn the Catholic Faith must elevate himself through the theological virtues of Faith, Hope and Charity.

Pope Benedict demonstrated this classical way of learning the Faith by issuing first the Catechism of the Catholic Church and secondly by writing his first encyclical on Charity. To be a good Catholic we must first know all the truths of the Catechism. Of course, we won’t understand most of the truths there. That’s all right. Just believe even if you do not understand. Then read the Deus Caritas Est and put it into practice. You will note that as you gradually grow in Charity, you will grow in your knowledge and understanding of the Catechism. Your knowledge won’t be superficial. It will be deep. Thus the axiom, believe that you may understand.

A deeper knowledge of the Catechism is acquired not by studying but by practicing Charity, which is, the commandment of the Lord to love God and neighbor. The consequence of growing in Charity is a deeper knowledge of the Catechism.

Even before Faith God usually gives us the initial seed of Charity. This grace, if we will it, is what makes us deserving of the infused virtue of Faith. And the theological virtue of Faith, not theological courses, is what will enable us to go deeper into the knowledge of the truths of the Catholic Religion.

As the seed of Charity grows in us it makes us deserving of the theological virtue of hope where our understanding of the Catholic Faith becomes greater. As Charity grows into its perfection then we become deserving of Wisdom, wherein God reveals Himself to us.

St. Therese of the Child Jesus who showed outstanding knowledge of Love or Charity, mentioned that she did not learn this from any books or studies but directly from God. And yet her theology was perfect and could put any doctor of theology to shame. St. Francis de Sales compared the learning of William of Ockham, a known theologian of his time, to that of St. Catherine of Genoa thus: William’s came from study while Catherine’s from God.

How do we learn the Catholic Faith? Not from books nor teachers. But by losing one’s life, “He who loves his life will lose it and he who loses his life for my sake will find it.” We learn by living a way of life of self denial.

Scriptures described this manner of learning the Catholic Faith in many ways. Why we got it all wrong is bewildering. Christ, Himself, did not tell us to study Moral and Dogmatic theology, nor apologetics or Church History. He said to learn from Him ‘humility and meekness.’ Our knowledge of the things of God will depend on the degree of our humility and meekness and not on how many books we have read or how many degrees on theology we have acquired.

Let me put it another way. Our knowledge of Divine things will depend on how much we have experienced the goodness of God. We can read a whole tract on theology without learning anything on the goodness of God. And yet we can look at a sunset and experience the goodness of God. The brief encounter with the sunset could be more spiritually beneficial than a whole course in theology. That is how St. Catherine of Genoa was more informed about divine things than William of Ockham, as St. Francis of Sales noted.

Thus in Catholicism, meditation is thinking and learning the goodness of God. Meditation is not merely the meandering of one’s thought on religious topic. Everytime we discover the depth of the goodness of God, we should react by loving Him. As our Love for God increases, our knowledge of the truths in the Catechism and on Divine things increase. When we meditate on God’s goodness and suddenly find outselves face to face with His goodness, we fall in love with God — this is contemplation. The reaction of the will is to love God — this is Charity.

Souls are naturally attracted to God. The mind, or intellect, is naturally attracted to Truth, and the Will is naturally attracted to good as dictated by the mind. If the mind makes an error and points to the world as good, the free-will will love the world. If the mind erroneously point to sin as good, the free-will will love sin. When the mind points to sin as good thus an object of love it is because it made a mistake in thinking that sin is beneficial to the soul. There was an error. So the mind must be properly educated. And that is the purpose of the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Though God, by Himself, can attract a soul — and this is how most saints were attracted to God — a push from behind can be of help sometimes. And this push has been suggested by St. Thomas Aquinas and largely used by the Dominicans. A great push from behind would be the writings of the Fathers and Doctors of the Church. Their writings are a great compliment to the attraction God uses to pull souls to Himself.

But this knowledge can sometimes pose a great danger to the soul if the purpose for studying these patristic writings does not coincide with the attraction or dilection that comes from God. For these writings to be a great help — a real push from behind– the soul must constantly have the right intention for studying; and this can be no other than wishing to learn how to love God. A little diversion from this purpose, which is to go against the very tradition of the Catholic Church, and this knowledge can puff one up, thus doing more damage than benefit to the soul.

If a soul studies Patristic writings in order to sound erudite, to be known as a patristic scholar, to be able to write a book authored by him, or for whatever reason that has nothing to do with loving God more, then that knowledge would just drag him down, aside from removing the dilection or attraction towards God that the soul experienced in the first place.

This attraction to love God was more than sufficient for saints such as St. Therese and St. Catherine of Genoa. They simply needed that attraction to know and love God. Others, like St. Benedict and St. Thomas Aquinas, though not needing it themselves, saw the help Patristic writers can give to their disciples. However, for us weaklings, we can never underestimate the danger of such a pursuit, if our minds and hearts are diverted in the process.

If a soul, like St. Therese, has such a sufficient attraction to love God, she would not need a push. But for most of us, we would need that push from the Fathers, the Doctors and the Saints. To read other books is definitely dangerous and should be avoided. This curiosity of learning other things, though theological, unless done solely for the purpose of knowing in order to love God, is dangerous. Such curiosity is referred to as the forbidden fruit. (Painting is St. Gregory with St. Ignatius and St. Francis Xavier, 1625.)

Charity, a very common word used today, is in truth a contemplative-mystical experience. It is a peek into the great mystery of God by our intellect and the consequent falling in love with the mystery that the soul has beheld for a brief moment. It is knowing God the way God knows Himself and loving God the way God loves Himself.This experience takes place in the secret recesses of the soul. It is a meeting between God and soul where God calls all the shots and wherein we need to be raised up to a certain level of divinity to be able to encounter divinity. Charity, a theological virtue that goes with Faith and Hope, is a pure act of grace meant for all, though not all receive it. It is an infused grace.

The charity shown by St. Vincent de Paul and Mother Teresa were over-flows from their contemplative-mystical prayer life. There is a world of difference between their work and the work of the United Nations. Sadly, many Catholic apostolates nowadays look more like the work of the United Nations than the work of Mother Teresa. The work of St. Vincent de Paul was a light. Not the United Nations’.

Since Charity is a state of contemplative prayer, it can only be achieved through prayer….by raising our hearts and minds to God ….. not by pulling God down to our level.

Charity, however, has different degrees for us creatures. There is one for beginners, one for the proficient and one for the mature. When one has reached that degree of the mature — or Perfect Charity — there will be NO end in this growth.

For us to be saved, it is sufficient to have the beginnings of the virtue of Charity that usually comes along with faith. But with mortal sin this Charity could disappear though faith could be maintained, unless we, too, commit the sin of infidelity, in which case we lose the faith also. This level of Charity or love of God that goes along with faith is commonly referred to as the state of sanctifying grace. To this, God gives us a certain degree of infused knowledge…knowledge better than most seminarians can acquire in the seminary. Of course we must progress higher from faith to hope wherewith the Holy Spirit gives us understanding of Christ’s teachings better than what most priests have. And then — some degree of perfection of charity, to which wisdom is given, and which Popes, like our present beloved Pope Benedict XVI, seem to have reached.

Sin and Perfect Charity cannot exist together. So the presence of faith plus some degree of charity is only possible in one without any mortal sin. Hope plus some degree of charity can only exist in one without deliberate venial sin. And Perfect Charity can only exist in one without any sin because by that time the soul is completely ruled by the Theological virtues, the moral virtues and gifts of the Holy Spirit. The soul completely belongs to God. So how can it sin? Free will? Well, by that time how can they ever choose sin? By that time sin is so detestable and the heinousness of sin is so evident that even its shadow cannot cross their minds.

Charity is a much superior experience of God than the vision of God that Adam and Eve and the bad angels had before their fall. Pope Benedict has reminded us of the invitation to the wedding banquet and of the required attire : a wedding garment . . . . Charity?

Pope Benedict has issued “Deus Caritas Est.” Charity is our goal. God wants us to reach the perfection of Charity…THIS IS HAPPINESS. But man tends to put obstacles to reaching it. This obstacle is sin. It is the only obstacle. Sin prevents us from reaching Charity. The devil tempts us to sin – and so the need for…. Prayer, Fasting and Good Works. This is the message of Lent and it teaches us how to counteract sin.

In everyday life, man does two things to sustain his life: to eat daily and to take medicines when he is ill. Christ had left us two general sets of commandments: the first set is meant to direct us to Charity and the other is meant to cure periodic spiritual illnesses that stop or slow us down from proceeding to Charity.

Prayer, Fasting and Good Works, the three elements of Repentance which make up the spirit of Lent are medicines meant to cure. They are not for saints. They are for sinners. Sinners need repentance: saints continue to persevere repenting… just as Mary need not go to the temple for her purification nor for the presentation of Christ, yet she still did, because of her humilty.

Sin may be divided into three categories: sins against self, sins against neighbor, and sins against God. Fasting is supposed to correct the sins against self, Good Works for sins against neighbor and Prayer for sins against God.

Since sins are generally acts of selfishness, something in Fasting, Good Works and Prayer must be given up to cure that selfishness. In Fasting we give up the pleasures of the flesh, in Good Works we give up some of our resources. And in Prayer we give up our will in order to do God’s will.

Prayer, Fasting and Good Works are ways by which we make reparation for sins committed in the past, preserve our souls from committing sins in the present, and they assure that we do not commit sin in the future.

The Rule of St. Benedict is a perfect blend of the right amount of Prayer, Fasting and Good Works done on a typical day. It just has to be lived for one’s entire life until one is righteous in which case these three medicines are no longer needed. In the Gospel on Friday after Ash Wednesday, Christ said that the guests should not fast as long as they are with the bridegroom. Saints are people with the bridegroom and therefore need not fast. But saints are usually the ones who even intensify their Prayer, Fasting, and Good Works! (Painting is “The Temptation of Jesus” by Bartholomaus Brun, 1493-1555)

God, by His foreknowledge, knows all the prayers of men and had pre-ordained the events in the world taking those prayers into account. Though He hears all, God takes only into consideration those prayers directed towards the salvation and happiness of men.

God, Himself, desires the salvation and happiness of men. He has ordained to give men everything to attain these ends. But He withholds it until man asks for it in prayer. This is what happened to the Samaritan woman. Christ’s had so greatly desired to give her living waters. When the woman asked for it “Lord, give me this water.” Christ gave it to her. But only after she asked for it. The same thing with Mary Magdalene. Though a great sinner, yet God so desired to grant her salvation and gave it to her the moment she asked for it.

Charity is a theological virtue that is necessary for salvation. In fact, it is salvation itself. It is happiness. We can only possess these through prayer…..with great humility.

A blessed and happy life is the desire of every soul. A Happy life is what God wants to give us. If we ask in prayer for a happy life, God would surely give it to us. This happy and blessed life is Charity.

God created all things that man might realize that he is a beggar. He has to ask for everything. So man must realize that he can only go to Heaven if he asks for it. And if Charity is necessary for our happiness he must realize the great need to ask for it. And he should ask for it knowing his great need for it.

Prayer is raising our hearts and minds to God. Why? To find out His will for us. A Will he is desirous to reveal to us….if we only asked. With “Deus Caritas Est,” Pope Benedict XVI had just told us what is God’s Will for us….to be happy– and what is needed for the happiness and salvation of our soul. He told us what God wants to give us. We have only to ask….but ask like beggars, for such we are.

And since charity is the only thing we need to be happy and be saved, this is all we have to ask. All its adjuncts will also be given to us. If we need anything else to be saved, all will be given to us. “Seek first the Kingdom of God,and all the rest will be given to you.”

I think the Holy Father sees a problem: people do not know what God wants to give them. So they ask for the wrong things like prosperity and peace to accompany the enjoyment of that prosperity. God will give some degree of prosperity sufficient for the quest of charity. He gives this together with Charity as an adjunct and not apart from it.

Perhaps the Pope also sees the problem of people not even realizing the need for Charity for the salvation of one’s soul; perhaps he sees it ill-defined everywhere. People do not pray,
and those who wish to do so do not know how.

Aside from this, there is the problem of those who do not believe in God. What problems! Ronald Knox once wrote that if we can put ourselves for a moment in the shoes of the Pope and imagine the burden he carries, we would fall on our knees and weep.

And what about the other things in life? St. Thomas wrote: we may ask for everything else as long as it is needed for the attainment of charity. But first and foremost we should ask for charity. (“St. Peter’s release from prison” by S. Pistolesi.)

In mystical theology we were taught that there were three steps towards the perfection of Charity. Charity is, of course, Christian Perfection. These three steps could be allegorically compared to the three Divine Calls underwent by the apostles.

The first Divine Call is when Christ called Peter and Andrew, the brothers James and John. At this first Divine Call they underwent their first conversion. They were already following John the Baptist and so they were prepared for the first call of Christ. The results were dramatic; Peter and Andrew left the boats and nets and the Zebedees left their boats and father. Matthew left his toll booth. They became fishers of man.

They left all things and made provision that there was no way by which they could go back to those things. When Christ preached to the crowd who left Him, Christ asked His apostles: “Will you also leave me?” And they answered “Lord, Where shall we go?” That is how they left all things. They had no place to go if they left Christ. Now that is a true following of Christ. Many followed Christ. But those who left all things and followed Christ became the true disciples. Those who followed Christ without leaving all things went back to all those things.

The young rich man who wanted to follow Christ was told to go home, sell all his things and give it to the poor and then follow Christ. Because he could not part with his possessions, he had something to come back to and, thereby, was unable to follow Christ. He failed Christ’s first Divine Call and as a consequence could not undergo his First Conversion.

The result of the First Divine Call that signaled the first Conversion of the apostles is a knowledge of the beauty and godliness of the teachings of Christ. This is what made them attached to Christ and not the fact that they had nothing to go back to.

The second conversion of St. Peter was during the Passion. He denied Christ three times and Christ looked at him. The look of Christ was Christ’s Second call that initiated the Second conversion of St. Peter. Christ’s look was an invitation to Peter to completely depend in humility on God’s grace since left to himself he would end up betraying Christ. Peter’s conversion consisted in realizing his need for complete dependency on the grace of God. John the Evangelist, too, who ran away briefly was called and underwent his Second conversion under the cross.

The result of their second conversion is knowledge and understanding of the Passion of Christ. So Peter who, before, did not want Christ to undergo his Passion was now convinced He had to go through it. Later on he would even express his desire to undergo it, too. Which he, in fact, did through his martyrdom.

The third Divine Call that signaled the third conversion took place on Pentecost. But let us look briefly at the events that took place just before Pentecost. Christ called Peter and asked him three times “Do you love me.” It was a demand for Charity. “Feed My Lambs” was their job after the First conversion. “ Take care of My Sheep” was their job after the Second Conversion. And “ Feed My Sheep” was the order for one who has reached the perfection of Charity. And for such a person he must now feed his sheep by teaching them Charity. Though it was an order for all the apostles, at that moment in John 21:15 it was exclusively for Peter and his successors which, in fact, Pope Benedict just did.