1. St. Ambrose noted that the Blessed Virgin’s marriage to St. Joseph was for the protection of her virginity. Mary’s virginity was concealed from Satan to keep him ignorant of the coming of the Messiah. Of course, God’s plan can never be thwarted but it was a greater show of power defeating the devil in his own game. Satan was waiting for the Messiah to be born of a married woman. He had no way of finding out that the woman was a virgin until it was too late. This is clearly a case where marriage was a protector of virginity.
2. Besides, as St. Joseph feared, what would people say if they found out that Mary, a virgin, was with child and living with Him? It was a case of immediate death by stoning. Mary’s marriage to Joseph helped conceal her virginity.
3. Let’s define marriage and virginity. Marriage is commonly defined as a contract between two persons to live as husband and wife. And virginity is commonly known as the state of not being married. But let’s go spiritual.
A truly Christian Marriage is one when two persons make vows to “be one heart and soul, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. in sickness and in health, till death do us part…” for what purpose? Primarily for their sanctification, and then sanctification of the children that God would give them. This is why the sacrament is called Holy Matrimony.
4.Whereas a truly Christian Marriage should work towards the sanctification of the husband and wife, or the perfection of Charity, or their salvation, Virginity, or commonly called the state of Single Blessedness, on the other hand should also have as its goal the perfection of Charity, without the help of the sacrament of Matrimony. Spiritual Virginity, then, being Sanctity, Perfect Charity, or Holiness “without which no one can see God” is the goal of both. Both married and celibate (or virgins) ought therefore to be spiritual virgins if they are to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
5. And example of one who was both married and a Virgin (celibate) at the same time is the B.V.M., though she never behaved like a married woman. An example of one who is both Spiritual virgin and a physical virgin is St. Therese of Lisieux and other saints like her. An Example of one who is both married and a spiritual virgin would be Zelie Martin, the mother of St. Therese, and other saintly mothers like her.
After the parents, as we have said above, the role of matrimony is to protect the children that God gives the parents. Children, as they come from God and truly brought up in the faith are little virgins or “Holy innocents.” What parents would like to lose the innocence of their children? Though, sadly, in these modern age, is it rare to find such parents who would do all they can to ensure the eternal safety of their children. To get them out of the house as soon as possible is the accepted norm. Nowadays, children lose their spiritual virginity, or both, at a very early age.
6. St. Gregory of Nyssa states that the immediate goal of marriage is to rear Virgins. In common theological parlance we can way, parents marry to populate Heaven. And so the crown of a successful Christian marriage is to have reared children for Heaven. St. Gregory, writing to his daughter who had become a nun, encouraged her to be what he and his wife could not be: a virgin, so that they may have a crown for their marriage – a holy soul, yes, a Spiritual virgin. A Wise (or Spiritual) virgin is the crown of a Christian marriage.
7. However, if it happens that, inspite of the parents’ efforts, they lose their “virgins” then they must be ready and willing to give them to marriage, a holy marriage, for “it is better for them to marry than to burn.”
8. The Spiritual virginity of the parents is the inspirer and protector of their children’s desire for the same. Note how the parents of St. Therese helped encourage and preserve the desires of their children to be virgins. They all became nuns. Their parents encouraged them to love God above all things.
9. In the early Christian times, like in the times of St. Gregory, Christian children were aware of the goal of marriage. So, on their own, they aimed at the life of virginity, so that they may become the crown of their parents’ marriage. It is their greatest way of showing gratitude to their parents. A success story is that of St. Therese of Lisieux.
10. In Mary we find these two kinds of virginity well exemplified. Lets look at her example. She is a mother, Mother of the Church, the Mystical Body of Christ. But she encourages her children, the members of the Mystical Body to be virgins, at least Spiritual virgins. In the process, some marry though remaining Spiritual virgins; while others, strive to attain Spiritual Virginity while remaining in the celibate or virginal state. Both make up the Mystical Body of Christ. If and when they become part of the Mystical Body, they make up the Virgin Bride of Christ. This is the community of those who have attained Spiritual virginity. And Mary has been the protector of such a community: the mother of the Church encouraging her children towards Virginity.
11. Here we have Mary playing the dual roles of Mother and protector of Virginity: the model for all Christian mothers who have forgotten that their role consist in protecting the virginity (or at least the Spiritual virginity) of their sons and daughters.